Teetering on the Brink

I have to admit, I started this blog on a bit of a whim and, not surprisingly, failed on the follow-through. I have found, however, that I still mention it in conversation, or continue to think about topics, and even find people who sound interested in reading it! After a few weeks of contemplation --because if I start again, I plan to continue -- I have decided to give it a whirl! Enjoy and pass it on!

Where has life taken me since last we met? Unfortunately, down a path of financial drama, for a variety of reasons, that has led me to a place I haven't been since finishing college and starting my first job. That first job paid me a whopping $20,000 a year, with one week of vacation, and no additional benefits. Luckily, I had a health plan that I could buy into through my job, but they paid zero. I'm not sure people appreciate benefits as much as they should!

Anyway, two months into the job I found myself, after paying for the health insurance, car insurance, security on the apartment I was about to move into and various other odds and ends, with $50 in my savings (my personal retirement plan) and a few dollars of grocery money in my wallet. At the time, I was keeping track of my catagories (my baby version of Seven Checking Accounts!) in a small notebook -- I still remember that it was blue, with red flowers on it. On that day in August, every column, except the $50 for retirement, said $0. Zero dollars. Makes me hyperventilate just thinking about it. Somehow, even when the bills are paid, those zeroes are really scary. I remember telling my mother, and having her point out that the bills were paid, so the zeroes didn't matter, things would recover and all would be well. She was, of course, right. Time marched on, the paychecks rolled in, the catagories recovered, and everyone got a Christmas present from me that year!

So here I am, more than 15 years later, having that hyperventilating feeling come back as I look at zeroes in my checking accounts after a summer that financially kicked my butt. Which just goes to show you that a) you can't plan for everything to go smoothly all the time and b) if you manage to plan somewhat, you can teeter on the brink of disaster without actually falling over. Which is something to be proud of, anyway.

I could have titled this entry "Plague and Pestilence" as my disaster came from those two source; Plague being a euphemism for medical expenses, and Pestilence being, well, pests. After an unexpected house repair of $2,500 -- that account was no where near ready to handle that -- caused by carpenter ants (assisted by birds, bees and a few mice), I broke one of my rules (don't borrow from one account to pay for another) in order to follow another (don't go into debt if you have money available to pay for something). The choice here being the weather tight, livable house over the new car that we really, really need, but the old one still runs! As for Plague -- how my four reasonably healthy children can continue to cost so much medically is astonishing and somewhat alarming!

I was really taken by surprise in the past few weeks, as the zero balances started showing up. I added a few fall clothing items for the kids to the mix, and stocked up the larder with some gluten free supplies, plus paid for the usual fall activities, and suddenly found myself with no wiggle room financially. It doesn't help that I was informed recently about some upcoming expenses -- braces, school trips -- that need to be accounted for in the budget that is already to the penny. I have woken up in the night with bad money dreams, I have found myself checking and re-checking balances, and I have put a personal moratorium on spending. I even have a hard time spending on groceries!

Which brings me back to why I have chosen to restart my blog now. Since I think about money all the time, I might as well share my thoughts with others. It gets some of the thoughts out of my head, helps me realize that I am lucky enough to have a system -- even when it looks bleak, and hopefully myexperiences will help someone else.